A naming ceremony for gender change – also called a butterfly ceremony – celebrates a new identity, as a culmination of, or an important part of, a long and meaningful journey. When something is important in our lives – a milestone birthday, a wedding, a retirement – those we care about come together in support and celebration. We throw a party.
Naming ceremonies may be held by those who identify as a gender that is different from the one they were assigned at birth. This can include people who identify as transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and many other gender identities.
Our name is connected to our identity, and the name we received at birth may not always reflect how we identify in the world – yet it informs how others perceive and treat us and how we perceive and treat ourselves. Making a change to a new name is significant, and marks an important moment in our journey.
In the journey of transition and validation of a non-cisgender or gender non-conforming identity, the formal affirmation of a new name in the presence of family and friends can be a meaningful, exciting milestone. It gives a clear message about the usage of the new name and what it means in someone’s life and a community affirmation of one’s new identity.
We hold ceremonies and rituals to create memories, celebrate, and share our important moments with friends and family. Ceremonies promote a sense of belonging and identity among a group, fostering community. Ceremonies can also be healing and mark a point of closure – and renewal – in our lives.
A Butterfly Ceremony is also an opportunity to thank those who have supported and guided you on your journey and share what this transition means for you as a person and for your future.
A professional Celebrant will craft a unique, personalized ceremony and officiate the ceremony portion of the event.
Some elements of the ceremony may include:
- Welcome and Humanist invocation
- The story behind your new name, its meaning to you, why you chose it
- A statement or ritual for letting go of the past identity and honoring that identity and the journey. This can be particularly meaningful when including a parent in the re-naming ceremony and honoring the original given name.
- Vows of the individual for self-love and acceptance
- Vows of a trusted friend, selected individuals, or of the whole group to support you in your continued journey
- Individuals to share readings, affirmations, or words of support
- A ritual such as a cascade candle lighting, tree planting, or reveal of a name plaque or custom/original name artwork
- Audience inclusion ritual such as namewarming (a necklace or other jewelry with the new name, passed around for everyone to briefly hold, then placed on you by the celebrant), audience pledges of support (call and repeat, written and collected, or individually spoken), or something fun like everyone doing a shot together during/at the end of the ceremony
- Presentation of gifts or declarations of gratitude to specific people who have been of great support
- Volunteer / service engagement (such as a Positive Postcards project to support a local LGBT Youth organization or a gift/food/money collection for them)*
- A reading (poem, book excerpt, song lyrics)
- Bewtowance or revealing of the name
- The ceremony may be followed by a catered reception, dancing, or may be held at a public place with entertainment and food.
*Humanist Celebrant Orlando will host a FREE Positive Postcards project, as part of your Naming Ceremony package, in support of the Zebra Coalition.
