Tag: Events

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A Special Graduation for Pride Month

Cover Photo Credit: Luis Xavier De Peña, Watermark Magazine

Bliss Health holistically serves a diverse community of people seeking to maintain or improve their health, relationships, and quality of life.

Bliss TRANSformation, one of their programs, is an annual conversational educational series that helps trans people learn ways to cope with the societal difficulties of being trans, become advocates for themselves and other transgender individuals, build leadership skills, and live successful lives. Bliss Health also facilitates and pays for each graduate’s legal name change. The TRANSformation program welcomes trans men, trans women, and anyone who identifies as non-binary.

The 2023 program, which had 60 participants, culminated in a graduation ceremony held at Typhoon Lagoon. It served as the kick-off of One Magical Weekend, the LGBTQIA+ Weekend at Walt Disney World Parks.

What a way to kick off Pride Month!

As part of their graduation ceremony on June 2nd, it was my honor to deliver the graduation keynote in the form of a group Transgender Naming Ceremony. Surrounded by family and friends, these graduates celebrated a pivotal milestone.

Ceremonies and rituals are deeply rooted in the art of flourishing as humans. They are a framework to commemorate, understand, share, and remember significant moments in our lives. They bring people together for a common purpose and foster & strengthen a sense of togetherness. Through ceremony, we experience a connection with something greater than ourselves like the community around us, or a relationship with culture and tradition.

A Transgender Naming Ceremony can hold tremendous meaning for those marking a transition to a new identity and a name that resonates with their true self. An affirming ceremony recognizes, acknowledges, and honors the courage it takes to be audaciously genuine. It can validate that individual’s journey and signify acceptance from those around us. It also provides healing and closure on the journey of self-acceptance and authenticity.

“…Throughout your life you have been swimming against the rushing current of cis-het norms and expectations. No matter how difficult, how scary, or how many times you were on that journey in solitude, you remained true to yourself. Your integrity and fortitude brought you here today. But you did not come here today in solitude. You came in solidarity, together with one another and with Bliss Health and all of the professionals, friends, family, allies, and advocates who have stood, and will continue to stand, with you…”

Ceremonies often contain rituals, like wedding unity rituals and water rituals in baby welcomings/namings. At the Transformations graduation, we joined in a community name-honoring ritual that celebrated each person’s new name, then we joined together in pledging to continue in positive self-care and to be a light in the world for others. We ended with a Humanist invocation before one last high-energy group participation moment. You just had to be there. 🙂

Congratulations to all of the graduates and thank you to Bliss Health for providing this important program that clearly made such an impact on each individual.

Mr. Rogers (no relation…) once said that when we see scary things in the news, “Look for the helpers. There are always people helping.” And the news these days can be scary indeed. The wisdom in looking for the positive is that what we choose to focus on informs our thoughts, which become actions, which define our character.

When we “look for the helpers”, we’re intentionally focusing on positive forces like Bliss Health’s TRANSformations program – and Nathan Bradley, the program’s fantastic coordinator – for inspiration to understand a little of the journey others are on – to walk a few steps in their shoes – and to find ways that we can make a difference for those around us.

Naming Ceremony, Humanist Celebrant Orlando
Read more about Transgender Naming Ceremonies

LINKS

Bliss Health: Website

Watermarkonline.com event photos by Luis Xavier De Peña

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Divorce Ceremonies

Humanist Celebrant Orlando Tee Rogers Divorce Ceremony

Can i share something personal with you? I got divorced. It was finalized on January 18, 2007 – yesterday, a million years ago. The sun was out that morning, but all i felt was darkness. alone. broken. lost. unlovable. all the bad feelings. It was a rough day. Even though it was the best decision for us to move on, and i was grateful to have had such a wonderful relationship in my life, i was still wracked with grief. Some days you just need a blankie and a teddy bear and a bottle of scotch, you know?

I was thinking about that day this morning while updating the Divorce Ceremonies page on my website. How would such a ceremony have impacted my life? I think it would have been AMAZING, healing, freeing.

Could it help you or someone you know?

Such a ceremony is a unique, intentional way to honor what has been lost, mark closure, and look forward to a new chapter. A professional celebrant will learn about your unique situation, write a custom ceremony, and officiate a meaningful experience.

Continue reading about what happens at Divorce Ceremonies here:

Divorce Ceremonies
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Gender Affriming Naming Ceremonies

Naming Ceremony, Humanist Celebrant Orlando

A naming ceremony for gender change – also called a butterfly ceremony – celebrates a new identity, as a culmination of, or an important part of, a long and meaningful journey. When something is important in our lives – a milestone birthday, a wedding, a retirement – those we care about come together in support and celebration. We throw a party.

Naming ceremonies may be held by those who identify as a gender that is different from the one they were assigned at birth. This can include people who identify as transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and many other gender identities.

Our name is connected to our identity, and the name we received at birth may not always reflect how we identify in the world – yet it informs how others perceive and treat us and how we perceive and treat ourselves. Making a change to a new name is significant, and marks an important moment in our journey.

In the journey of transition and validation of a non-cisgender or gender non-conforming identity, the formal affirmation of a new name in the presence of family and friends can be a meaningful, exciting milestone. It gives a clear message about the usage of the new name and what it means in someone’s life and a community affirmation of one’s new identity.

We hold ceremonies and rituals to create memories, celebrate, and share our important moments with friends and family. Ceremonies promote a sense of belonging and identity among a group, fostering community. Ceremonies can also be healing and mark a point of closure – and renewal – in our lives.

A Butterfly Ceremony is also an opportunity to thank those who have supported and guided you on your journey and share what this transition means for you as a person and for your future.

A professional Celebrant will craft a unique, personalized ceremony and officiate the ceremony portion of the event.

Some elements of the ceremony may include:

  • Welcome and Humanist invocation
  • The story behind your new name, its meaning to you, why you chose it
  • A statement or ritual for letting go of the past identity and honoring that identity and the journey. This can be particularly meaningful when including a parent in the re-naming ceremony and honoring the original given name.
  • Vows of the individual for self-love and acceptance
  • Vows of a trusted friend, selected individuals, or of the whole group to support you in your continued journey
  • Individuals to share readings, affirmations, or words of support
  • A ritual such as a cascade candle lighting, tree planting, or reveal of a name plaque or custom/original name artwork
  • Audience inclusion ritual such as namewarming (a necklace or other jewelry with the new name, passed around for everyone to briefly hold, then placed on you by the celebrant), audience pledges of support (call and repeat, written and collected, or individually spoken), or something fun like everyone doing a shot together during/at the end of the ceremony
  • Presentation of gifts or declarations of gratitude to specific people who have been of great support
  • Volunteer / service engagement (such as a Positive Postcards project to support a local LGBT Youth organization or a gift/food/money collection for them)*
  • A reading (poem, book excerpt, song lyrics)
  • Bewtowance or revealing of the name
  • The ceremony may be followed by a catered reception, dancing, or may be held at a public place with entertainment and food.

*Humanist Celebrant Orlando will host a FREE Positive Postcards project, as part of your Naming Ceremony package, in support of the Zebra Coalition.

Naming Ceremony, Humanist Celebrant Orlando
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How can a non-religious person plan a funeral?

Serving as a Humanist Celebrant is a privilege to do part-time, but in my full-time role i counsel families on pre-planning options for funeral and cemetery, whether planning years in advance or serving families facing an imminent loss.

Yesterday at a health fair someone came to the table and asked how a non-religious person plans a funeral.

It’s common to associate funerals with churches and assume funeral professionals are faith-biased. Humanists and other non-religious identities may wonder what their options are. For example, many don’t know there are Humanist Celebrants who can officiate and that funeral home venues are neutral and able to accommodate any religious or non-religious perspective. We think of some religions that use grief as an opportunity to evangelize about their own religion; your celebration of life can reflect your own values, and even highlight reason and Atheism if that is meaningful to you.

When you meet to discuss this difficult topic you shouldn’t be further burdened by worry that your pre-planning advisor (serves you prior to a loss) or funeral director (serves families once a loss has occurred) will not understand or respect your religious, secular, or spiritual identity.

The reality is that all people will face the loss of loved ones and of themselves. You will need a funeral home to pick you up and take you into care when the time comes, perform the embalming and burial or the cremation, and hold services for you if that is meaningful to you and your loved ones. Whether you are buried traditionally or cremated (which can also have burial and other final resting place options), the services and process ought to reflect your own wishes, traditions, culture, and expectations. An advisor can make sure that you are aware of all options so that you can select what is meaningful to YOU.

Most funeral professionals are open and respectful of all identities. I’ve seen the occasional faux pas of assuming their own religious belief will comfort others or falsely generalizing that all people are religious or “Christian”, and i know how othering and dismissive that can feel. I’ve even had to hide bibles strewn about the funeral home before a family came in so that they wouldn’t feel bias against them just by walking through our door. These instances of prejudice are pretty rare, though. As our culture becomes more and more accepting of diverse perspectives, the funeral industry will continue to evolve toward inclusive practices, language, and training.

When you sit with a funeral professional, be upfront with them about your religious, secular, or spiritual identity. They will respect your perspective because caring for others and serving people at difficult moments in their lives – ALL people – that’s what we do. If you don’t feel comfortable with your pre-planning advisor or funeral director, you can ask for someone with direct knowledge of your perspective. We may not have a Catholic, Muslim, Atheist, or Wiccan on staff … but we can find someone who will have an understanding of your traditions and respect your wishes without prejudice.

Another concern i’ve heard is that someone’s own identity, being different from their family’s, may not be respected by those left behind to make decisions. This is a common concern for the non-religious, those of minority religions, and the LGBTQ+ community. Pre-planning is the best thing you can do toward the continuity of your identity after your voice is no longer there to speak your wishes. It is also the best way to make sure those handling your arrangements understand your wishes. Knowing what you want and the right thing to do for you reduces their emotional burden.

Further, i’ve been asked how to prevent religious people from “preying” on you when you are dying, “blessing” you after you are gone, or burying you in a religious cemetery. Again, making your wishes known in advance is the best way to guide your loved ones and the professionals who will be caring for you.

The conversation about final wishes should happen now. It is much better to have the information and not need it, than to need it and not have it. If you have any concerns that your identity will be an issue (with a funeral professional or with your loved ones) and want to have a conversation about final arrangement decisions, contact me. Let’s talk about it.