A Custom Experience
As a celebrant, I’ll work with you to personalize a ceremony script that honors your loved one and your family, help with selecting meaningful readings, and assist with composing the eulogy and obituary. I’ll be there to officiate your ceremony.
I know this is a difficult time for you and I’m going to walk with you through the process. We will have a meeting to talk about your loved one, preferably in person at the funeral home. However, we can also use calls or Zoom, or even do this through email if you prefer. There’s an intake form in the menu for funerals; you can use that as a guide, but there is no real need to fill it out unless that is preferred by you. These are the things we’re going to discuss in our meeting.
Secular Humanist Services
You’ve lost someone you love. And they, and/or your family, are not religious – or you simply want a service that will be meaningful to an audience of diverse religious, secular, and spiritual perspectives.
For secular people, end-of-life planning can be a challenge with funeral homes, celebrants, and other professionals who do not understand nor seek to honor secular identities. Secular Americans who have experienced evangelical or other faith-focused funeral services may not be aware that there are non-religious options for services. Some funeral homes may also not be aware of, or even supportive of, secular alternatives to traditional funeral services.
From ceremony composition and officiation to diverse identity advocacy and safe-space support, please know that secular support and resources are available for you.
A Humanist celebrant will prepare and deliver a ceremony that is not linked to any religion or belief in an afterlife. However, space can be made for readings, invocations, and personal sharing from family and friends to incorporate religious messages and comfort if that is meaningful for you.
A Humanist Funeral honors someone’s life and memory in a way that reflects their Humanist values and beliefs. The focus is often on celebrating the life of the person who has passed away, rather than mourning their loss; however, if a more traditional, somber memorial is preferred by the family, this can be a Humanist service also.
The ceremony is usually conducted by a humanist Celebrant who works closely with you to create a personalized ceremony that reflects your loved one’s beliefs, values, and wishes.
The ceremony may include readings, poetry, music, and personal stories or anecdotes about the deceased. The officiant may also offer reflections on the meaning and purpose of life, the importance of love and human connection, and the enduring legacy of the deceased.
In a Humanist Funeral, there is no religious or supernatural content delivered by the Celebrant, such as prayers or references to an afterlife. Instead, the focus is on the here and now, and on the lasting impact that the deceased has had on the lives of those who knew and loved them. The Humanist Celebrant is ethically restricted from using religious language; if some religious content is desired, they will help incorporate it through readings and reflections delivered by family or friends.
Overall, a Humanist Funeral is a meaningful and respectful way to honor the memory of a loved one and to celebrate their life in a way that reflects their humanist values and beliefs.
Why are funerals Important?
Important for all Religious, Secular, and Spiritual Identities (RSSI), a funeral is a ceremony or service to honor and pay respect to a person who has died. It’s for family and friends to join together to mourn their loss, offer condolences, and celebrate the life of the deceased.
Funerals are important in the grieving process for many people, providing a safe, meaningful space for loved ones to share memories, offer support, and begin to come to terms with their loss – a point of closure. This ceremony can also be an opportunity to reflect on the meaning and purpose of life and to find comfort and solace in the company of others who are going through a similar experience.
Where is a Humanist Funeral Held?
Many of these services happen at the funeral home if there is a congregational venue available there. A funeral home is a wonderful choice for an end-of-life ceremony. Their staff is trained to support grieving families and their facilities are set up for these services; this is what they do. They will take the planning burden off of the family and ensure that things run smoothly.
Some may choose to have only a graveside service or committal, and the entire service happens at the cemetery or place of scattering.
If you want a more traditional, though inclusive and secular, funeral setting, Unitarian Universalist churches are often Humanist-affirming and their congregational center may be a wonderful option.
The service, however, can be done anywhere you would like (with restrictions if the body will be present), such as a home, garden, or restaurant.
What is in the script of a Humanist Funeral?
This can vary widely based on personal preference – there are no required parts or required order of things. In general, the service will include:
- Opening remarks, Humanist Invocation, welcome
- Reading of the eulogy
- Music may be incorporated before, during, or following the ceremony
- Guests sharing memories or tributes
- Readings or poetry (usually one or two selections)
- Closing words of inspiration and support
Consider a Community Impact Component
A service initiative is a unique addition to a Humanist end-of-life ceremony. The Celebrant can work with you to set up a gift or donation collection for a charity, an on-site service project such as Positive Postcards, or a group park cleanup or other charitable activities in honor of your loved one. This can be done before, after, or during the ceremony. Ask your Celebrant about options.
What is Humanist Advocacy in Deathcare?
Healthcare and Deathcare providers, and some individual professionals, can be faith-biased. This means they have a religious agenda, usually Christian-centric, that is ubiquitously imposed on those they care for even though it may not serve all of the individuals and families that come into their care.
In a diverse, pluralistic culture where we have freedom of (and FROM) religion, no one should be forced to pray to or defer to someone else’s G/god(s) at a time of grief. For some minority religious and secular individuals and for LGBTQIA+ identities, conversations requesting someone to honor their identity can be anxiety-causing and triggers for other trauma.
Humanist Celebrant Orlando can serve as your advocate, providing non-religious support to you and your family as well as assisting with inclusion-focused conversations with hospital chaplains, hospital and hospice staff, and funeral home staff.
Having a Humanist Celebrant with you at the arrangement conference with the funeral director or at other important moments, in person or by phone, can help alleviate some of the anxiety about discrimination, faith-bullying, and other very real challenges.
What services can a Humanist Celebrant provide?
A Humanist Celebrant, if certified and ordained through The Humanist Society, is legally recognized as clergy in the United States, being accorded the same rights and privileges granted by law to priests, ministers, and rabbis of traditional theistic religions.
Humanist Celebrants often serve as advocates for the non-religious as well as other marginalized identities. Minority faiths (such as Wiccan) or LGBTQIA+ individuals may engage a Humanist Celebrant for some or all of these services.
End-of-life services may include:
- The Celebrant may visit the hospice or hospital to provide Humanist support to the dying and their family, as many secular families are frustrated by – even traumatized by – religious predators, at this difficult time, in the faith-biased healthcare industry;
- The Celebrant can assist with finding an affirming funeral home provider (that will be affirming of a diverse identity such as Humanist, Atheist, minority religion, or LGBTQIA+);
- The Celebrant may provide Humanist support or presence in communicating with funeral home, cemetery, and other professionals, as secular families may be discriminated against, harassed, Preyed upon, identity washed, and other challenges faced in the faith-biased funeral industry;
- The Celebrant may attend a religious service or ceremony, and deliver a Humanist invocation or reading only, to honor the deceased or to be inclusive of those attending the service who are of diverse perspectives and/or non-religious identities;
- The Celebrant can compose a custom ceremony, working with the family to select wording, readings, and invocations;
- The Celebrant may be asked to write the obituary and/or the eulogy (sometimes a family member chooses to write this part or to closely collaborate with the Celebrant);
- The Celebrant may serve as the officiant for the funeral service;
- The eulogy – story of life and tribute to the deceased – is delivered as part of the service. This can be read by the Celebrant, or a family member may elect to do this. The Celebrant stands by to offer support.
- The Celebrant may be asked to attend, and sometimes deliver a Humanist invocation or reading, at the visitation or viewing, graveside service or committal ceremony, or other ceremony such as a scattering or tree planting.
- The Celebrant may be asked to attend or make a visit to the reception or repast.
Sample Humanist Readings for Funerals
How is a Humanist Celebrant Paid?
Humanist Celebrant Orlando charges an honorarium for end-of-life services. This style of ceremony and service fee is a “suggested amount”. Some families add gratuity and travel or extra time compensation to the fee, others pay less if they are unable to afford the ceremony fee. No one should be left without clergy representation and support, and Humanist advocacy where needed, at such a difficult time in their life.
Finding Secular Affirming Deathcare Professionals and Grief Support
The best way to ensure that you have selected a funeral home and other professional services that are knowledgeable about and affirming of your identity is to pre-plan. Planning ahead, before there is a crisis, gives you a lower-stress opportunity to interview and research providers. Your Humanist Celebrant can guide and assist you with that process as well.
Humanist Celebrant Orlando’s owner, Tee Rogers, is also a pre-planning advisor in the funeral industry. She would be glad to answer any questions you have about pre-planning.
You can use tools such as the Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives to reflect on your identity-related end-of-life wishes and provide loved ones and professionals the guidance and tools to honor those wishes.
Secular Grief Support
Finding providers such as grief therapists and support groups that are non-religious can be a challenge, but there are resources available to help. Visit the IADD Grief Resources page for more information.
Other Memorial Service Options
Living Life Celebration
For those who are terminally ill or who are aging, this tradition is an opportunity for friends and family to gather and honor the person and the impact their life has had on those around them. Often at funerals, stories and memories are shared – but the deceased never gets to hear what they meant to those around them. A premortem ceremony or living funeral allows the person to be enveloped in the compassion and support of those they love. They are often very similar to life celebrations and can be personalized to your needs.
Pet memorials
The attachment we have to our pets is often equivalent to the attachment we have to people in our lives. For many, pets are family. They make home…home. Having a ceremony as part of the grieving process can be healing and comforting. The ceremony can be personalized to honor the life of your animal companion.
Celebrant role: write and deliver a ceremony, facilitate readings and rituals incorporated into the ceremony
Obituary / Eulogy Composition
Please see the Obituary Page for further information and a form that will help me with writing this for you – or guide you if you prefer to write it yourself.
Final Arrangements Planning
In my full-time role in the funeral industry, I help families with pre-planning funeral, cremation, and cemetery arrangements – whether far in advance so a plan is in place, or when an imminent loss is expected and families need to know what will happen next.
As a Humanist Celebrant, I am DEI fluent and aware of religious, secular, and spiritual identity (RSSI) and LGBTQ+ concerns regarding the funeral industry, and serve as a compassionate safe space for all identities to have this difficult conversation. LEARN MORE (opens in a new tab).